Wednesday, August 21, 2013

The weight of the world...

Usually feel like its on my shoulders. I know that phrase is so over used but it's true most days. I'm not one to complain about the cards I've been dealt but I've had an overwhelming couple of weeks and I know someone, somewhere must feel the same way.....


It started August 6th....Our trip up to Duke Children's Hospital for Jeremy...refer here to see how it went....the 3.5 hour drive there, appointments and the stay over night in a meh hotel then tests all day then 3.5 hours back.....all with a whiney, half asleep(thanks anesthesia) 7 year old and a hungry, grumpy 9 month old....this was stressful enough for the month.....BUTTTTT it got busier...

My sister came to visit (YAY) but was gone just as quick and she made the awesome decision to study abroad in Costa Rica and will be there for the entire school year...

As soon as she left I was back to work....full time on the medical floor of the hospital...busy work.

Jeremy has at least one appointment a week but last week it was 2...on the same day...and I had ALL the kiddos with me....lets just say my kids should be used to doctor's offices by now...but they're not.

All I hear from the people around me is "your so strong", "I don't know how you do it", "Your supermom", "Your a good person to do all this"

But I feel like crap.I'm exhausted out of my freaking mind! I work 12 hour days, 3 days a week and have a 9 month old who still doesn't even slightly sleep through the night, a 2 year old who stays up until 11 pm most days and a 7 year old who's up at the crack of freaking dawn....I cant remember the last time I had more than 4 consecutive hours of sleep!

I'm not that strong, I can barely lift my toddler....oh you mean emotions couldn't even lift a milkshake at this point...and trust me I could use a milkshake.

You don't know how I do it...neither do I...and honestly I don't know what I do do. <-- : / My living room looks like someone tried to rob me, but obviously they only took one of each sock in my house and all the food. the laundry is mostly unwashed but what is washed is thrown in multiple baskets and wrinkled up , it requires "fluffing" to be worn. My kids may or may not get a bath every day.... But they do eat ALL THE FREAKING TIME! I spend more time in my car driving to and from appointments, stores and work than anything else in my life.

I'm supermom....ha...NOT!

I'm a good person to do I'm my child's mother and just like any mother I would do anything I could for them, no matter how big or small!

I'm just a mom who works her hiney off making sure we all make it to our dirty home, to our un-made beds with a full belly and only a little dirt on our faces......I'm just a mom.